anger, continued.

...i am not finished with my anger.

you are SO self-centered. you get mad at me for not talking to you, so for you to turn off our friendship and ignore me for this long, is hypocritical. and i know how you feel about hypocrites. even though you are one of the most hypocritical people i know. you hate flakey people, but you cancel on me all the time. you get annoyed when your friends don't listen to you, but you don't ever take my advice. which is one of the reasons that we are not speaking. 

why the FUCK are you ignoring me?? you tell me that i'm your best friend and that you need me, and that you're sick of being alone and sad, but then you cut me out of your life. you are being immature. you complain that your mother is controlling and that she needs to treat you like the adult that you are because you are so responsible, yet you have no direction. i know she can be harsh, but you complain about the lack of parental involvement in your life, yet when she reaches out to you, you snap and shut down. 

you think that you're so fucking perfect and original and cool, but you are a mess. i love you, but you are a mess. and you do not have any power, or superiority, over me. so stop thinking that you do. and if you ever talk to me again, if you ever apologize for not speaking to me and telling me about your life, if you ever make this right again, you will need to respect me. i'm done with your bullshit. i want you to be a part of my life, but only if you add to it positively - i don't have the time or energy to deal with your drama. it feels like i have two lives, and when bad things happen in either of them, i suffer. but i only gain when good things happen in one of them.

also, you have to start being nice to me. you are rude as shit, and i'm so tired of it. if you don't like my clothes, my hair, etc., GET OVER IT. i don't tell you that you look like a mormon 95% of the time. i just tell you that you look cute. which you do... but like a cute mormon. so STOP telling me that i look like a mess, or whatever mean thing you have to say, because i don't treat you that way. i keep my mouth shut when i should, and you need to start doing the same.

i'm not actively waiting for you to talk to me, but you need to make the first move. i'm not coming back to you. if you want me in your life, you need to shape up, edit your attitude, and apologize.