everything sucks.

today sucks. from the moment i woke up this morning with a hangover and bad memories of last night up until this moment, when i am sitting in my apartment alone, trying to convince myself to go to the gym and be social and kind instead of staying home and being grouchy, making massive amounts of pasta, and watching trashy t.v. by myself (ughh just typing that makes me want to do it so badly)... everything has sucked. and i mean every little thing.

it's a beautiful sunny day, but of course the fucking wind makes wearing a skirt and having long hair hell. my classes were all terrible, i had several near-panic attacks, im hungry, poor, and unprepared for the mean world. i hate everything right now. and i am angry that i feel this way, because these past few months have been so fun for me! i was finally enjoying being here, in this world, alive, and now im back to square one. i hate everything.

i feel helpless. at times like these, a normal artist would get out a pen or a paintbrush or a camera and create some beautiful, heart-wrenching art. but my attitude is: fuck it. i am angry and i don't give a fuck about art at the moment. considering that i am an art student with a dream of working for national geographic one day, this had better be a fucking phase. but if it's not... uh ohh.

i want advice, i want dinner, i want a hug. i want a friend. i want connection.

after all, i am fucking human.